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August 2010

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Aug. 11th, 2010

Abuelo

I wish to be close to my grandpa, singing him songs, and laughing at his silly things like, he is The President of the USA, that he is Jamaican, and that he was the best baseball player in Cuba! Yes my grandpa is one of kind... he is in Hospice right now under a lot of morphine in Miami...and I am here in Portland in my hot apartment, reminiscing about everything him and I have ever done...I miss you so much.

Mar. 29th, 2010

Class In session

Started my preschool class today! love my new kids, with all the goofy things they do and say I feel right at home..
by the way, I hate secrets and people you love that keep things from you..

another day in paradise under a rain filled sky of Portland.

Dec. 27th, 2009

Cold

 The sun is not shining from both sides.. is it winter once more around me, I feel cold, confused, but  warm inside you..does looking into your beautiful and falling inlove all over again gonna make the sun hit us once more?
Tags:

Sep. 18th, 2009

Cells

Cut my insides, let me bleed..I feel almost half way there, I think now I am really living on a prayer..

Aug. 22nd, 2009

Goodbye Baby..

                                                             Baby

 

I feel so empty inside, in a place where your heart used to beat and I counted the weeks to be able to see you.  Hopes and dreams don’t exist, it’s Doctors and technology that said you were fine, the day before I lost you they called and said, “You have a healthy pregnancy, Sofia! The baby looks great and your growing to the size your suppose to be.” All fukin congratulations to sorry!  I knew I felt something was not right, all the cramping and spotting, but everyone including my Dr said, it was normal, yet I never listened to being on bed rest, with being a mother and wife it’s very hard to do, I should have stayed even if the house was falling all around me, but I didn’t and now you are gone. On August 21 at 4am I was awaken by cramping that felt like contractions, reaching high peaks of pain, I still told myself it was going to be okay… one hour later I lost you, getting to hold you on a paper towel with no heartbeat., My visions of holding you, being warm and soft against me where all a piece of my imagination. When rushed to the hospital all I thought of was why? What did I do wrong?!   Is there really a higher being to help, to explain, to make a fukin miracle?! No, its death and that can’t ever be explained. The priest from the hospital prayed for your soul.. They are going to take you to a cemetery for infants. They realized it would be the proper way to say goodbye to you, even though there is no proper way of leaving!  I just blame myself, and I wish to have been a good mother to you. They should have taken me, instead of you. I will remember you my seamonkey and all that was left. I love you and hope to still see you one day.

 

Services will be held at Mt. Calvary Cemetery in September.

 


Mar. 30th, 2009

Just Married!

We are married! It's official now.. As of last March 20th the first day of spring and the day of renewal..It was a lovely wedding @ the Kennedy School.
I think I can write a book about the events and people that attended the wedding.. I will leave that for a full entry.
I am very happy and grateful to be married to my Scottie, he is amazing and I will love him until the end..
As of tomorrow we are going on the honeymoon to Seattle, then to Snoqnmie falls (the twin peaks town), then to cannon beach! it will be good for both of us to get away for a while.
We need it~
Well Bon voyage for now and I will have to catch up on the recent events..

xo


Jan. 7th, 2009

New Schedule

Started School this week! it's going great just getting into the works of a new schedule and all. I hope to continue with the motivation it takes to get through this.. Believe it  will happen. Another Exciting News is that Greta got fired!! don't know why but i find it funny that i thought it was me this whole time and it was her all along..Cheers to that!

Jan. 1st, 2009

2009

Happy 2009! I am so excited for this year,  It's a new beginning for us in our family. I am starting school at PCC for Early Childhood Education so i can begin my teaching degree. The wedding is in July!, Scott is going to see Miami for the first time and our families will finally all meet each other.
Adi is turning double digits!.. I am having my procedure done to improve my health, and i have to quit smoking!
With all these events and plans i really hope it's blessed and turns out the way i would like.

Renew.Believe.Visualize.

Dec. 30th, 2008

(no subject)

Twilight  has invited me into another world, in the book that is. A world were vampires are, were love is truly found even if it's with a monster.  
I was disappointed with the Movie because their were scenes that were added that were never in the book!
i mean if you are going to make a movie based on a book at least make it the way it was written.
I give them credit for making the characters the way they were exactly decribed, Especially Edward.
His pale face, gorgeous eyes that change with his moods, his body and the speed as mentioned.
My Favorite part had to be when he took her on his back and took her up a Doug fir. The best line i thought was the " I feel in love with a lion, what a silly lamb i am" and Edward says" what a masochistic lion i am for falling in love with a lamb".
I am starting the next book today, That is called 'New Moon'. I look forward to it and I may be addicted but it sure as hell increased my imagination, in which I needed.

Dec. 29th, 2008

Progress

Making Progress in my emotional roller coaster.. I realized today it was perfectly okay to feel sad and angry, yesterday and all last week for that matter. I thought it was cabin fever because this winter in Portland it  snowed for almost 2 weeks straight! something that hasn't  happened since 1973 here! So we were all stranded in the house for about that long because our cars were stuck... We starting Running out of projects and food at one point. Yet we made it allright and i think it  was a test  to see how long we can be with each other without losing it madly! Good to know  because we will be getting married in 7 months! so we can manage about anything up to this point. So back to my roller coaster, last night i cried and cried after watching a movie because i couldn't stop remembering all these problems from my past and fearing my Adi getting older, because the 10 yr old in the movie starts kissing a girl and running off on his own and i kept thinking of my innocent minded little boy that is growing fast and he will be doing these things fairly soon..
Guess it's the point all parents reach when they realize their kid is going to experince reality or the other side of life which is being an adult and seeing all the cruel and beautiful things this world has.
I think my weakness came from my moon cycle that i got today! Yay! i am not pregnant! which is great.
So i am not losing it after all and my hormones once again got the best out of me. Thank you ovaries!
P.s I am going to see Twlight tonight finally! this may help my mood lots! Edward Cullen..
i will need to write a entry about this because i love the story and want to share it.

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